magnet therapy – it ain’t working
Injured one of my fingers four months ago; only hurts when I use it, but it’s slightly swollen and aesthetically unsightly. I also have a significantly reduced range of motion – only a problem if I need to open something, tie a shoe, turn a key in an ignition. I was perfectly happy to ignore it, but then thought that it might get worse with age and if I’m lucky, I’ve got 25 years left and do I really…wait…WHAT?!?! If I’m lucky? Holy Crap! 25 years?! I’ve been telling everyone I’m middle aged but I AM NOT — I’m 2/3 aged. I am 2/3 aged. If I’m not careful, I will not be present for the important milestones in my children’s lives. Time to kick off a new health programme (I’ve been reading way too much Brit chick lit – why does “sod off you stupid cow!” sound so much
better than “shut the f* up you f*ing b*tch!” when they kind of mean the same thing?) I’m switching to dark chocolate and red wine, immediately — never mind that it’s 10 am, it’s never too early to start a new programme…and anyway, procrastination is for procrastinators, like me. Wait…what?
Working from home today and overheard my 7 year-old and his buddies talking about what workouts could “actually give you a 6-pack!” Huh? Since when are 7 year old boys concerned with 6-packs? Since when do they know about 6-packs? And why are they sitting on a trampoline and talking about workouts rather than working out on the trampoline – I thought that behavior was reserved for people like me, middle-aged suburbanites who like to talk about exercise over dinner and drinks.