cables and cusswords — adventures in video production and other stuff

drama

The Disturbing Transformation of Kindergarten

The Disturbing Transformation of Kindergarten.

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What My Bike Has Taught Me About White Privilege

What My Bike Has Taught Me About White Privilege.


Project Library – personal space dress!

Project Library.


My Fabulous New Steam Cleaner

I just got this new steam cleaner and it is the greatest thing ever.  I’ve been steam cleaning everything – walls, ceilings, mirrors, windows, chandeliers, smelly kids, smelly pug.

I just can’t stop.  If it doesn’t move, I’m blasting it with searing hot steam — hot enough to peel your skin off.  If you’re looking for something that can clean your grout and clean your fingers of identifying marks, you need this.  My fabu hubby  pointed out that I’m also enjoying a lovely steam facial  and strenuous uppper-body workout while I clean.  I mistakenly thought that hubby could help out and get a steam facial, too, but he doesn’t want to deprive me of the rejuvenating, youth-promoting benefits I’ve been reaping.  Thanks, honey!  I hope I remember to wait until you’re actually out of your Zegna suit before I  go at it with puffs of 212 degree scalding steam!

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Parvo Puppies — cute, but plagued by explosive, highly contagious diarrhea

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Scarlem aka “the hood”

All was progressing smashingly well with my miracle steamer until I locked myself in the guest room.  Somehow forgot that the guest room door lacks a door knob (and has since we moved in six+ years ago,ensuing in all sorts of hilarity and pathos).  In my zeal to clean the door, I accidentally pushed it shut with the 150-pound steam cleaner.

Crikey!  I did what anyone would do — jumped out the window and directly into the pricker bushes that the parvo puppies favored as their latrine.  Wonderful!!! Now I can steam clean my socks (and feet).   Quickly realized that since I live in Scarlem (the Harlem section of Scarsdale) I had exercised proper security and locked all exterior doors.  So, I climbed back in the guest room window and watched Real Housewives until the kids’ babysitter arrived.  And wondered why we didn’t convert the guest room closet into a wine cellar (closet).

 


La-Z-Boy: Saddlemakers for the Geriatric Set

ImageTried a Tad Coffin saddle yesterday – and needed a cherry-picker to get me off the dang horse.  The saddle looked great and fit me perfectly – but this (rather) mature equestrian requires A LOT more padding.  When will La-Z-Boy start making saddles?  There’s a business initiative I could get behind – horrid pun intended.Image

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startling discovery

magnet therapy – it ain’t working

Injured one of my fingers four months ago; only hurts when I use it, but it’s slightly swollen and aesthetically unsightly.  I also have a significantly reduced range of motion – only a problem if I need to open something, tie a shoe, turn a key in an ignition.  I was perfectly happy to ignore it, but then thought that it might get worse with age and if I’m lucky, I’ve got 25 years left and do I really…wait…WHAT?!?!  If I’m lucky?  Holy Crap!  25 years?!   I’ve been telling everyone I’m middle aged but I AM NOT — I’m 2/3 aged.  I am 2/3 aged.  If I’m not careful, I will not be present for the important milestones in my children’s lives.  Time to kick off a new health programme (I’ve been reading way too much Brit chick lit – why does “sod off you stupid cow!” sound so much better than “shut the f* up you f*ing b*tch!” when they kind of mean the same thing?)  I’m switching to dark chocolate and red wine, immediately — never mind that it’s 10 am, it’s never too early to start a new programme…and anyway, procrastination is for procrastinators, like me.  Wait…what?


guilty as charged

I know better — but I still expect my computer to respond (and render) instantaneously.  I know better, but I still rail and whine at my computer., expecting it to come to its senses and do what I want. I know better, but I still blame software and glitches and non-intuitive design for my failings, ignorance and inexperience. So I guess you know what I’m doing tonight and into the morn…