(Never) Too Old for Light-Up Accessories

I always wanted light-up sneakers, even though they weren’t invented (for toddlers) until I was in my 40’s.  My children were age-appropriate for seizure-inducing footwear, but would have nothing to do with them — they were way too “blingy” and “babyish”  You’re two years old!  Technically, you’re a baby!  Put the damn sneakers on!

In my nearly 50 years on earth, I have found that if you want something badly enough, it will come to you — as long as you’re willing to spend A LOT of time trolling the internet and A LOT of money.  Well, my time has come…light-up galloping boots for the horse I don’t own!  Horses can’t verbally protest and when they physically protest, I can put ’em in cross ties and slap those boots on their massive, kicking legs!  Awesome!

On a more serious note, I advocate light-up galloping boots as a training aid, too.  They will spook the wearer and cause him to lift his legs higher as he porpoises over the jump — to get a better look at the freaky things attacking his legs.  Worst case, his boots will spook the other horses, rendering them unable to compete at their best.  Whatever it takes, baby, whatever it takes.