startling discovery

Injured one of my fingers four months ago; only hurts when I use it, but it’s slightly swollen and aesthetically unsightly.  I also have a significantly reduced range of motion – only a problem if I need to open something, tie a shoe, turn a key in an ignition.  I was perfectly happy to ignore it, but then thought that it might get worse with age and if I’m lucky, I’ve got 25 years left and do I really…wait…WHAT?!?!  If I’m lucky?  Holy Crap!  25 years?!   I’ve been telling everyone I’m middle aged but I AM NOT — I’m 2/3 aged.  I am 2/3 aged.  If I’m not careful, I will not be present for the important milestones in my children’s lives.  Time to kick off a new health programme (I’ve been reading way too much Brit chick lit – why does “sod off you stupid cow!” sound so much better than “shut the f* up you f*ing b*tch!” when they kind of mean the same thing?)  I’m switching to dark chocolate and red wine, immediately — never mind that it’s 10 am, it’s never too early to start a new programme…and anyway, procrastination is for procrastinators, like me.  Wait…what?