I’m Hydrating, Honey

Here’s what it’s like to be laid off: My husband walked past the guest room, looked in and said, “are you drinking wine and working out?” My reply, “it’s 49, 50, a spritzer, 51, I’m hydrating, 52.”

it's a spritzer, for God's sake!

“It’s fine,” he said, “I just wanted to confirm what I was seeing – do you know what time it is?”

My reply: “Of course! All My Children is on, so it’s somewhere between 1 and 2 pm.”

“Just checking,” he said. God bless my non-judgmental hubby.

Being laid off might have given me some time to smell the roses, except that I can’t find any damn roses to bury my schnoz in — are roses just totally outre in the gardening world? But I did manage to find wild strawberries down by the dead end that we all “walk” our dogs to (read: take our dogs to pee and poop so we don’t besmirch our own precious emerald-green suburban lawns).

: i take credit for this

I do take credit for this, one, because my dog and my foster dogs’ poop have provided ample fertilizer and two, I believe that the rabbits that raid my garden (including my strawberry patch) on an hourly basis pooped out the strawberry seeds at the cul-de-sac (it’s a dead-end anywhere else, but this is Scarsdale), so yeah, it’s all me. All me, all the time, with nowhere — no job — to go to, and if that isn’t a buzz-kill, I don’t know what is. Wish me luck.

This entry was posted on June 12, 2011 by snoeberry. It was filed under Work .

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