a cotton candy machine ate me alive

Or tried to — who knew cotton candy could be dangerous?  Certainly not I, except that being 99% sugar and 1% various artificial and toxic non-foodstuffs, it will wreak havoc on my teeth, which is a sore spot already (for me, anyway).  My kids’ elementary school has an annual fund-raising spring fair.  I’ve been in charge of the fund-raising brochure the past few years, which consists of six months of begging friends, family and strangers for money to support the under-privileged children of Scarsdale NY.  Hmmm. 

So I abandoned fund-raising for one fun-filled day of making cotton candy — it’s pretty, pink and fluffy and my kids would be overjoyed at having an in at the cotton candy booth.

YUM!!!

1 1/2 hours into my 3 hour commitment and my husband peers into the machine and says, “you’d better be careful — I’m serious!”  Ha, ha, ha hubby!  you are so funny!   It’s a hot, sunny day, long line of kids waiting for their floaty confection, kids asking for change, someone else telling me about why she prefers soda in a can, etc, etc.  I spy a big glob of cotton candy at the bottom of the drum which is preventing me from creating the perfect cone of spun sugar joy, so I shove my hand in to pluck it out and AAAAAAAAA!!!!!

not yum

yeah — kids traumatized, cotton candy booth shut down, my finger nail ripped off (and then sewn back on), broken finger and nine stitches.   Best part: nurse on duty screaming louder than me — “I don’t do emergencies!!!!!!  I’m just supposed to treat kids with skinned knees!”

you're getting blood everywhere!

That was Saturday.  Today, Tuesday, I had phase two of my gum surgery — skin cut from my palate was grafted onto my lower gums.  About a thousand stitches in my mouth.  No pain killers to go.  I’ve got more stitches than a Raggedy Ann doll, plus all the nerve endings of an almost alive and kicking human being.  Good thing hubby bought a case of wine last week.

this will do